This is a joke, so don't take it as an insult. This may be offensive for some people.
If there’s one thing every Hollywood hopeful has been writing since the age of five, it’s his Oscar speech. And few know better than James "King of the World" Cameron how gratifying a speech it is to give. Even though The Hurt Locker's P.G.A., D.G.A. and BAFTA wins have boosted its Oscar momentum, Big Jim doesn't want to be caught empty-handed if Avatar wins best picture, especially given Bill Mechanic's bare-knuckle promise to feed any winners caught rambling to a pre-starved Bruce Vilanch and Carrie Fisher. Rumors have it Cameron's been hard at work, locked away in a Marina Del Rey hangar penning a worthy follow-up to his Titanic acceptance speech. Thanks to well-placed sources, Vanity Fair has come across an early draft.